Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Why Aren't Rappers Scary Anymore?

I always wondered why "scary music" wasn't a genre. We have scary movies, scary TV shows, but as far as I know, no scary songs. Sure, there's "The Monster Mash" and "Thriller." And there's a band called Slayer that I assume is as moderately scary as an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But so far I haven't ever heard a song that was so scary I had to turn it off, unless you count those creepy cassette tapes with haunted house noises that they sell around Halloween time. But that's not really music as much as someone dragging a chain across a concrete floor and moaning.*

But then I discovered the 90s hip hop station on Pandora and spent the day listening to sick jams that made my skin crawl. I just may have nightmares tonight about bitches, hoes, mo' money, and DMX's voice. (Have you heard that guy's voice? If he's looking for work, I'm sure he could get a job with the people who sell those haunted house cassettes.) The guy has an album called It's Dark and Hell is Hot. And on the cover of his next album, he Carrie-s us.