Monday, March 31, 2014

5 Things Cavemen Wouldn't Understand

I don't know why I'm so obsessed with worrying about what other people would and would not understand. Perhaps it's because I spend an inordinate amount of time being confused, and I empathize with the hypothetical confusion of others. For instance, when I watched the Harry Potter movies with people who hadn't read the books, I couldn't stop badgering them with, "How could you possibly understand what was going on??" I also worry that my offspring will be unable to relate to old song lyrics.

Today, I'm going to tackle the things that cavemen (and probably cavewomen) wouldn't understand if they were to time travel to the present day. If that Geico caveman show is still airing, they can feel free to use this post as inspiration for an upcoming episode. And if they've already used this bit, well, clearly they didn't do a good job with it because their show looked horrible.

 Image via Chicago Now

5 Things Cavemen Wouldn't Understand

Sunday, March 9, 2014

4 Rules for Playing Cards Against Humanity

If you're looking for the actual rules of Cards Against Humanity, you can read the one sentence on the Cards Against Humanity website that tells you everything you need to know to get started. Instead, I'm going to go over the unspoken rules with you so you can be sure you're not cheating or being a dick next time someone whips out their big black box at a party.

Rule #1: Certain cards should win every time they are played, regardless of the context. For instance, "A bleached asshole" or "pooping back and forth forever." If anyone plays these white cards or their ilk, regardless of which black card you put down, you must choose them as the winner. Every time. Forever. The only caveat is if more than one trump card is played in the same round. Then you must default to "A bleached asshole."