Thursday, November 28, 2013

Throwback Thursday: A Thanksgiving to Remember

One year when I was in high school, I had a crush on this guy who was basically straight out of a Taylor Swift song--the awkward nerd pines for the suave footballer who seems too smart to date some slutty cheerleader...and yet he does anyway. I couldn't have been more stereotypical if I'd tried.

 And here's an ill-advised selfie from that era.

On Thanksgiving that year, I drank my weight in apple juice waiting for the turkey to be carved, and by the time the feasting began, I was clutching my stomach in agony and forcing forkfuls of mashed potatoes down my gullet as if I'd never get another chance to eat a potato again. I didn't eat nearly the amount of food I came to expect from myself because of all the apple juice, and thus considered the holiday a failure.

"How was your Thanksgiving?" hot blonde guy asked me back at school. As if he cared about my sad life.

"It was fine. Ugh but I drank too much."

He looked surprised. Almost respectful, like maybe I was actually Laney Boggs post-makeover and perhaps I was dateable after all. "Really? Nice!"

"Uhh...too much apple juice, I mean," I stammered. "I wasn't able to binge eat as usual heh heh heh..."

"Oh. Weird."

This Thanksgiving, don't drink too much apple juice. You're not impressing anyone.

From all of us here at Karisa Tells All, which is just me, Happy Thanksgiving.

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