Thursday, November 28, 2013

Throwback Thursday: A Thanksgiving to Remember

One year when I was in high school, I had a crush on this guy who was basically straight out of a Taylor Swift song--the awkward nerd pines for the suave footballer who seems too smart to date some slutty cheerleader...and yet he does anyway. I couldn't have been more stereotypical if I'd tried.

 And here's an ill-advised selfie from that era.

On Thanksgiving that year, I drank my weight in apple juice waiting for the turkey to be carved, and by the time the feasting began, I was clutching my stomach in agony and forcing forkfuls of mashed potatoes down my gullet as if I'd never get another chance to eat a potato again. I didn't eat nearly the amount of food I came to expect from myself because of all the apple juice, and thus considered the holiday a failure.

"How was your Thanksgiving?" hot blonde guy asked me back at school. As if he cared about my sad life.

"It was fine. Ugh but I drank too much."

He looked surprised. Almost respectful, like maybe I was actually Laney Boggs post-makeover and perhaps I was dateable after all. "Really? Nice!"

"Uhh...too much apple juice, I mean," I stammered. "I wasn't able to binge eat as usual heh heh heh..."

"Oh. Weird."

This Thanksgiving, don't drink too much apple juice. You're not impressing anyone.

From all of us here at Karisa Tells All, which is just me, Happy Thanksgiving.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

A Horror Movie for Every Holiday

I'm not so big on horror movies. I'm just not that into watching people get hunted down and killed in a number of cruel and unusual ways. Weird, I know. America's pastimes are basically just eating, baseball, and horror films, and, well, at least I like food.

I also really like holidays--any holiday. Of course I love the usual suspects--Christmas, New Year's, Thanksgiving, Halloween--and I even observe some of the lesser-known holidays like National I Want Butterscotch Day and Arbor Day (when else can you dress like a tree, amirite?). The movie industry agrees with me. Or rather, the horror movie industry agrees with me. I can tell, because there's a horror movie (or ten) for almost every holiday imaginable. The jury is still out on National I Want Butterscotch Day, but all it takes is someone reading this blog and deciding to make a B movie about killer butterscotch and we can cross that one off the list too.

 Image via Listverse
Interesting that a killer Santa Claus is played by a Jewish wrestler. Well played.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Working in The Big City

I just rewatched 13 Going on 30 for the first time in a while. That used to be one of my favorite movies when I was in high school, and, watching it again as "an adult" (wait, am I still young enough to put that in quotes?) was weird. I never realized until now how much I had based my perception of my future life on that movie. In other words, yes, I want to be thirty, flirty and thriving.

Image via Head over Feels

What could be a better life than one where you could go to work wearing a negligee and pitch fluff headlines at a board meeting with your best frenemy? All I've ever wanted was a high-powered career in The Big City, toting a briefcase and some sort of snooty coffee every morning.