It's been ages since I announced that there would be a big announcement, and finally, the time has come for me to announce that the announcement is happening today. As in, right now.
And while I'm not announcing a pregnancy (seriously, I'm not), I have been sitting on this secret for almost three months. Okay drumroll please.
The secret is...
...that I'm published!
The book is a collection of essays and stories, some from the blog and some new stuff, published through Thought Catalog. Oh, and it's just an eBook, not a tangible printed book, so you can either read it on your Kindle, download the Kindle app for your phone or computer, or buy it from the iTunes store if you have an Apple device. Or, if you hate my writing, you can not buy it and leave a scathing review pretending like you did buy it. The world is your oyster.
It's a quick read, so you could even get through it in one sitting if you find it that enrapturing. I can't really blame it for my lack of posting this summer, though. I've honestly just been busy watching The Bachelorette and eating cookie cake. It's selling for a low price (I'm definitely not quitting my day job), so there's really no reason not to buy it!
So why should you buy my book? I'll give you the top 10 reasons:
1. Because I want you to.
2. Because it's cheaper than pretty much anything else you can buy in this world (except Barbies from the Dollar Store, which I bought for a possible cover photo).
4. Because you want to find out why I'm falling off a chair in the real cover photo.
5. Because you are a reckless internet shopper whose credit card info is already saved in your Amazon account.
6. Because it's a real slice-of-life, edge-of-your-seat thriller.
7. Because I'm the real voice of our generation, not Lena Dunham.
8. Because you're hoping I actually am pregnant and perhaps put the pregnancy announcement inside of the book. (You're dumb. I'm not pregnant.)
9. Because you're worried the book will eventually sell out and then you'll forever regret living a life without having read my literary contributions.
10. Because science.
This photo from my haircut post is actually my author photo from the book. Now you can stop tossing and turning at night, trying to figure it out!