Saturday, May 18, 2013

Writing Elsewhere

I've been doing some writing for Thought Catalog lately, so if you just can't get enough of me, here are 5 other things I've written that you may not have seen:

This picture has nothing to do with anything.
An Adult's Guide to Playing With Dolls: Babysitting was my ticket to wealth back in high school. I had all the neighborhood moms in my figurative rolodex and made sure they knew I had no life to speak of that didn’t involve supervising the shit out of their kids (sometimes literally, if they were potty training). Read more.

Boobies: I distinctly remember, as if it were yesterday, lamenting about boobs at the tender age of four. It was an insanely hot summer day, and my mom was sweating like a whore in church. She mumbled something about having to take her bra off because it was so unbearable to wear in the heat. “But Mom!” I was aghast. “What if some boy lifts your shirt up! He’ll see your boobies!” Read more.

What's Up With Mall Kiosk Salesmen: You know what I don’t get? Mall kiosk salesmen. Why do they exist? Why can’t they just build malls with narrower aisles so you don’t have to come up with anything to fill the space in the middle? Problem: solved. Read more.

Screw Mayonnaise: Don’t you hate those people who talk about their diets all the time? They go on and on about how they’re “so into lentils right now,” and how they’ve stopped eating gluten because it’s bad for everyone, and how they’ve never been to a Taco Bell and want to keep that streak alive. Well, I’m basically that person. Sorry to be so annoying. Read more.

25 Facts About Turning 25 That Will Make You Feel Weird: Being 25 Means you’re older than the singer in “What’s My Age Again?” (“And that’s about the time she walked away from me / Nobody likes you when you’re 23″). Read more.

Just don't read the comments if you don't want to be enraged. That site is full of angry teenagers who shouldn't be given internet privileges.

1 comment:

  1. Love the posts, as usual. It's too bad the commenters over there are such douchenozzles.


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