Thursday, May 30, 2013

Woe is Me

I'm having one of those weeks where I feel sad for no reason, which is the worst because there's nothing I can do to make it better, and I can't even say "if only this were different, I'd be happy." If my job sucked, I'd start looking elsewhere. If it were my marriage, I'd talk to my husband or get counseling. If I felt self conscious about my post-wedding weight gain, I'd eat pie and consider exercising. If my house were being taken over by spiders, I'd call Ghostbusters/the Orkin Man.

But aside from the spiders, I don't really have any tangible problems. I'm just in a general state of malaise. Whenever I get into these funks, the scariest part is that I can't imagine ever getting out. Since there's no real cause or problem, there's no solution either. But of course that's not true.

Image via Animal-Space
I know I've already used this photo, but it was worth reusing.


I went back to reread some posts I wrote on the subject of happiness years ago, as I was graduating college. Back then, I had real things to worry about. I was about to graduate with an English degree, a pile of debt, and no job prospects or car or savings account. I was about to move 2 hours away from Chris. And I was leaving all of my friends and the city I had grown to love. I wrote about 5 Things that Make Me Happy, more Things that Make Me Happy, and How to Be Happy.

So this weekend I'm going to do my best to appreciate the little things, like natural light (not to be confused with Natty Light) and YouTube karaoke videos. And I'm going to try some of the tips I suggested for getting happier, particularly eating chocolate. Alright fine, and exercising.

The other night, I tried the tip I mentioned about smiling to trick yourself into being happy. Chris saw me and said "What are you doing?" I told him I was smiling and he said, "You're making a really weird face," and he showed me what I looked like. Then I cracked up because it really was a weird face. But in the end, it did end up lifting my spirits, although not in the intended way. Whatever works.

 It was basically like this face.

I'm going to add something to my list of ways to be happy: make plans. So often I balk at weeknight social events or being separated from Chris to hang out with friends, and I'm getting worse and worse. I'm mistaking comfort for happiness, and this shit has got to stop. So this weekend I made plans without Chris for both Friday and Saturday nights. I need to work on getting more girl time in. Maybe I'd be happier if I talked to people who don't have 5 o'clock shadow every once in a while. Chris may be my husband/ball n' chain, but he's still a boy with cooties. Let's not forget that.

Another thing that makes me happy: productivity. I didn't have time to be sad about intangible "problems" last year at this time, because I was scrambling to plan a wedding, move to Milwaukee, and get a new job. Now I'm doing...nothing. It was nice to forsake my to do lists and just relax for the first year of marriage, but it turns out there's only so much sitting around I can take. I learned that on my honeymoon, in fact. So tonight, to boost my mood, I will do the dishes. It should be a crazy time.

Back to the regularly scheduled laugh riot after this. But first, do you ever feel sad for no reason? How do you pull yourself out of a funk? What are the little things that make you smile? Will you please cheer me up?

8 comments:

  1. I am also sorely lacking in girl time. If we lived closer, I would totally come hang out with you. I tend to get antsy and sad when I haven't gotten out of the house/off the computer enough.

    And if you didn't have time to be sad last year, maybe it's time to invent a new project that'll keep you busy for a while.

    Here's something to make you smile: http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/13-simple-steps-to-get-you-through-a-rough-day

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  2. Not sure how this site works, but I want to "like" this. You crack me up girl. Hope you start feeling better soon!

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  3. Saw this on facebook, it made my afternoon. Ah, high school flashbacks! *NSYNC’s “I Want You Back” Music Video Is Absolutely Ridiculous: http://preview.tinyurl.com/m66xolh

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    1. Why did I never realize how messed up boy bands were back then??? This was great

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  4. I always feel down when I'm unproductive, which is pretty much all the time. Making plans, no matter how small usually cheers me up. And coffee, dogs, and tv :)

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  5. This. This speaks to me so much. I used to have depression a few years ago, a huge deep funk that I couldn't see the end of. Every time I've felt similar feelings since then sends me into panic mode: what if it's starting again, how will I get out of it this time?

    What did you end up doing as an English major? I'm nearing that point of my life and I'm kind of freaking out D:

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    1. I worked in web publishing first, and now I'm a content writer. Check out this book: http://www.amazon.com/Im-English-Major-Now-What/dp/1582973628 and good luck! I remember the freaking out well. :(

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