But aside from the spiders, I don't really have any tangible problems. I'm just in a general state of malaise. Whenever I get into these funks, the scariest part is that I can't imagine ever getting out. Since there's no real cause or problem, there's no solution either. But of course that's not true.
Image via Animal-Space
I know I've already used this photo, but it was worth reusing.
I went back to reread some posts I wrote on the subject of happiness years ago, as I was graduating college. Back then, I had real things to worry about. I was about to graduate with an English degree, a pile of debt, and no job prospects or car or savings account. I was about to move 2 hours away from Chris. And I was leaving all of my friends and the city I had grown to love. I wrote about 5 Things that Make Me Happy, more Things that Make Me Happy, and How to Be Happy.
So this weekend I'm going to do my best to appreciate the little things, like natural light (not to be confused with Natty Light) and YouTube karaoke videos. And I'm going to try some of the tips I suggested for getting happier, particularly eating chocolate. Alright fine, and exercising.
The other night, I tried the tip I mentioned about smiling to trick yourself into being happy. Chris saw me and said "What are you doing?" I told him I was smiling and he said, "You're making a really weird face," and he showed me what I looked like. Then I cracked up because it really was a weird face. But in the end, it did end up lifting my spirits, although not in the intended way. Whatever works.
It was basically like this face.
I'm going to add something to my list of ways to be happy: make plans. So often I balk at weeknight social events or being separated from Chris to hang out with friends, and I'm getting worse and worse. I'm mistaking comfort for happiness, and this shit has got to stop. So this weekend I made plans without Chris for both Friday and Saturday nights. I need to work on getting more girl time in. Maybe I'd be happier if I talked to people who don't have 5 o'clock shadow every once in a while. Chris may be my husband/ball n' chain, but he's still a boy with cooties. Let's not forget that.
Another thing that makes me happy: productivity. I didn't have time to be sad about intangible "problems" last year at this time, because I was scrambling to plan a wedding, move to Milwaukee, and get a new job. Now I'm doing...nothing. It was nice to forsake my to do lists and just relax for the first year of marriage, but it turns out there's only so much sitting around I can take. I learned that on my honeymoon, in fact. So tonight, to boost my mood, I will do the dishes. It should be a crazy time.
Back to the regularly scheduled laugh riot after this. But first, do you ever feel sad for no reason? How do you pull yourself out of a funk? What are the little things that make you smile? Will you please cheer me up?