All of the men look the same.
Is that racist of me, even though I'm white and most of them are also white? I can honestly say that pretty much all men look the same to me, especially on this show. For instance:
How are these different people?
The only difference is the lazy eye.
The third guy is slightly different, but I'm convinced the other two are literally the same.
Maybe I'm just distracted by the similar shirts.
Standard hotties. The middle one also looks like a Hemsworth brother. Come to Daddy. Any/all of you.
If Ken dolls were brunette and real, they would be both of these guys.
On a similar note, this guy looks like one of the Marymount Mathletes from Mean Girls, amirite?
The Custom Clothier/Magician needs to win!
Spoiler alert: he already didn't win. But whyyyy?? He was the best one! He was capable of tailoring clothing, performing magic tricks, and making dad jokes, all while looking like Count Chocula/Dracula/Eddie Munster! He could have lent that spooky je ne sais quoi that every season needs.
What's with the stupid gimmicks?
Why did every single guy have to do a stupid gimmick when they got out of the limo? I don't remember this being par for the course back in '03. From the "knight in shining armor" to the shirtless guy to the guy who brought his kid and the guy who made Desiree rip her dress doing a dip, they were all awesomely lame and awkward. The weren't enough cringes in the world for all of the secondhand embarrassment I felt on behalf of all parties. I'm also embarrassed for all the guys who admitted to watching the previous season of The Bachelor. And myself, for admitting it a few paragraphs ago.
And I don't understand the guys who signed up without knowing who the bachelorette would be. Isn't that...kind of...the point? I wonder what kinds of complicated algorithms they use to select people as contestants. Clearly, it's a highly scientific process, since they managed to find 25 identical men.
And now for 13 Things I Wasn't Thinking while I watched:
- Chris Harrison seems like a nice person.
- Desiree also seems like a nice, genuine person.
- I miss Desiree's baby bangs from last season.
- I wonder if these scenes of her chasing seagulls and trying on cowboy hats all alone were staged.
- I love the way Desiree laughs after each sentence.
- I'm digging Juan Pablo's Tommy Wiseau accent
- I've never seen a more comfortable looking dress than the one Desiree wears on the first night.
- Everything about Larry makes me swoon, from the way he repeatedly removes his glasses to his fixation on "the dip." Also, Larry was not creepy as phở.
- I would go to the fantasy suite with Jonathan in a heartbeat. And I would deplete his very large love tank.
- Guys who say "There she is!" when a woman walks into the room are the best, most eloquent guys.
- Why am I eating pie?
- One of the contestants is an entrepreneur who invented the concept of spinning a promotional sign on the street corner, and that is genius. He deserves to be rich and successful.
- It only took 41 minutes of air time before someone mentioned "being here for the right reasons."