Thursday, May 16, 2013

25 Questions I'd Like a Definitive Answer To

Throughout my life, I have had many questions about the world. Some of them were simple
questions that my parents could answer. For some, I learned the answers in school. Some were
taken care of with a quick Google search. But for many of my questions, I have been unable
to get a straight answer out of anyone. I get a different answer from one person to the next;
everyone seems confused, and rumors fly with abandon. Well, I’m sick of it. It’s time I got a
definitive answer to these questions.

  1. How do you actually pronounce “Phở?
  2. What does it mean when you see a pair of shoes hanging from a telephone wire? Is that
    where a drug dealer lives? Did a murder happen there? Is it part of the Underground
  3. What is “is?”
  4. What wouldn’t Meatloaf do for love?
  5. How does one end a game of Monopoly?
  6. Where's the beef?
  7. Is it true that U-turns are legal if there’s no sign prohibiting them?
  8. Why so serious? Why?
  9. What is love?
  10. If a tree falls, etc….? Related: Why is there so much philosophical confusion about trees
  11. Just when is Shark Week? Or rather, when isn’t it Shark Week?
  12. Who does Number 2 work for?
  13. Does Richard Gere participate in gerbiling?
  14. Why is Kim Kardashian famous again?
  15. Are blue balls a real affliction?
  16. Does eating celery really burn more calories than it contains?
  17. What is the real definition of “ironic?”
  18. Can you really die from mixing Pop Rocks with pop? Has anyone ever tried it to make
  19. Is it true that a sneeze is 1/10 of an orgasm? If so, what would happen if you sneezed 10
    times in a row?
  20. Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
  21. Speaking of that, where’s Waldo?
  22. Where have all the flowers gone?
  23. What size bra are we all supposed to be wearing?
  24. Are leggings the same as pants or not?
  25. Just how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?


  1. I'll help you out with some of these (though most remain a mystery to me, too).
    1. It's pronounced "fuh."
    2. It started out as a maker for gang territory, but now, there's really no one significance of shoes over a telephone wire.
    24. NO!

    1. I've heard the "fuh" pronunciation before, but I didn't want to believe it! It just seems so awkward to be like "I'll have a bowl of fuh, please" with an American accent lol. idk why this plagues me, since I've never even had Pho before.

  2. Hahaha! I'm with Molly - that's how you pronounce pho. I have a Vietnamese friend and he coaches me with pronouncing Asian words, as well as weird last names (like Ng... I've been wondering about that one for years. Turns out it's pronounced "ing", and not "nug" like I suspected).

    7. depends on where you live. In Washington State U-turns are illegal unless there's a sign saying they're legal. Here in Texas, anything is fair game.

    1. that must be why everyone always gives me a different answer when I ask about U-Turns!

  3. I know a few of these:

    4. That.
    5. Get tired and simply walk away from it. Or get annoyed because you are losing and flip the board over before you walk away so you ruin the game for everyone else.
    6. Wendy's
    8. Because you have a f'ing murderous clown in your face and you're scared for your life.

    PS: followed you over here from weddingbee and you crack. me. up. keep fighting the good fight.

  4. You ask some valid questions. I'm still wondering about Carmen Sandiego. But mostly, I'm thanking you for voicing the questions of a generation.

  5. 25.

    1. Interesting! I totally thought this link would either give me a virus or be a photo of that stupid owl from the commercials :)

  6. It's easy to remember how to pronounce "pho" because there have been (at least rumors of) so many shops that take advantage of it, such as "Pho Q" and "Pho King" and "What the Pho?". Pronouncing it "fo" just doesn't have the same ring...

    1. That is amazing. I like these even more than I like Thai restaurant puns.

  7. 5. You go bankrupt even after all of your property has been mortgaged. Happens to me EVERY TIME.
    7. True fact! In Minnesota, it can’t be done in the middle of a block, but at an intersection, yes.
    9. Baby don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me. No more.
    16. False. No food burns more calories that it contains. A calorie is a calorie.
    17. Just listen to Alanis Morissette and she will tell you.
    18. When I was a kid I used to mix Pop Rocks with soda in my mouth all the time. Did not die, but there was a lot of fizz action in my mouth!
    24. NO!
    25. My brother and I got to 150ish licks once, then we lost count when our parents told us how annoyed they were getting.

    1. I have a follow-up question regarding Monopoly--how long do games last if you actually play till the end? I've played games of Monopoly that lasted nearly a decade straight with no bathroom breaks, and we still never finished.

    2. When I play until the end, it lasts a couple hours. Mostly because I'm frivolous and get houses and hotels put up as fast as possible. My opponents usually catch on to what I'm doing and do the same thing. Then, I land on their Boardwalk with a hotel and all my money is gone. I've never won at Monopoly and usually end up flipping the board over when I lose (all the time).

  8. Hahaha, speaking of trees falling, a few friends and i were taking this research survey asking us about the walk of shame. One question went: if no one is there to see the walk of shame, is it still a walk of shame? To which we replied: if a tree falls in the forest....

    1. That is a great, philosophical question. I'm gonna go with yes, because shame comes from within. I've definitely fallen down the stairs all alone, with no one there to see it, and I still felt embarrassed and ashamed of myself. As I should.


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