Tuesday, April 2, 2013

The Alcohol Diaries: Part 4

Catch up on the intro, part 1, part 2, and part 3.

Day 35: It seems like everyone is trying to take my money these days--first our old landlord, then Nissan, and then my dental insurance company--and I spend much of the afternoon arguing on the phone, after which a drink would have been nice. Actually, a kickboxing session set to Nickelback would have done the trick too.

Day 37: We go to karaoke at the Milwaukee Ale House with some of Chris's labmates, and I do my first ever solo, sober karaoke performance. I did mostly-sober karaoke back in 2010, but I'm not sure if I've ever actually done solo karaoke. I sing "Billionaire" by Travie McCoy feat. Bruno Mars, and the crowd seems impressed with a little girl rapping expletives.

Eighth Official Insight: I don't need liquid courage to do crazy things; being in a bar, surrounded by drunks is enough to make me feel confident in myself.

Day 38: We decide to rent the new Denzel movie Flight, which happens to be a PSA against alcoholism. Unfortunately, I have a bit of a Pavlovian reaction to the alcohol consumption scenes, and I'm afraid the overall message is lost on me. Watching him dump full bottles down the drain is painful.

 Image via IMDB
Interestingly, the movie made a great case for cocaine as well.

Day 39: Chris and I take an impromptu romantic trip to Port Washington, which ends up being just like Cedarburg, except minus the whole marriage proposal part. There is no romantique, candle-lit wine bottle sharing in the hotel room. Instead, I pass out at about 9:30 with a book on my chest.

Day 40: Wait, I thought Lent was only 40 days long? Apparently, despite having gone to Catholic school for 9 years, I never knew that Lent is actually 46 days long. So I keep on trucking. We visit a wine shop in Port Washington and I practically spend my life savings on wine and wine paraphernalia, in lieu of actually drinking it.

 Image via Simply Celebrations
I even bought some of this shit.

Day 41: I contemplate buying a $12 bottle of non-alcoholic wine before I realize I would never even spend that kind of cheddar for real wine.

Day 44: It's $5 martini night at our friend's birthday dinner. For once, I'm not even jealous. Could it be that I'm getting used to not drinking? I have been inured to the hardships of the sober lifestyle! 

Day 45: We're home for Easter, and we go out to dinner with my family. I order my last kiddy cocktail of the season, which ends up tasting like a glass of grenadine. I focus my efforts on pizza bingeing to keep my mind off the wine across the table.

Day 46: Dinner at Chris's family's house becomes one of those perfect wine-drunk nights where everyone lingers around the table discussing intellectual issues and laughing at things that aren't even funny. Except I'm drinking water.

Ninth Official Insight: I want wine.

Day 47:


  1. Haha, a perfect ending! I'm so impressed that you followed through, though, and I've enjoyed this series!

  2. I so enjoyed the series too! I'm impressed by your follow-through, and glad you could reward yourself with a glass of wine on Easter!

  3. Love this! I'm glad you got your celebratory wine. :)

  4. Wow. There are a lot of events in the time frame in which alcohol is a staple. I didn't realize. Well done!

    1. I didn't either! I was kind of shocked at how often I was surrounded by people drinking and not drinking myself. How is this my life??? Hahahaha

  5. I'm sure that glass of wine was like Victory! Good job, and thanks for letting us know what it was like in your hilarious way!

  6. I'm so impressed that you sang karaoke without alcohol. Congrats on making it through, I hope you are rewarding yourself! Also, I bought six bottles of wine today; I either looked like I gave up wine for lent or that I have a drinking problem, neither of which are true.

  7. dude, i'm impressed at the eighth insight. i used to be able to... but then i turned 21. oops. maybe i should try something like this just to test my social confidence.

    congrats! love the blog (coming here more often) and thanks for visiting :)


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