Tuesday, March 12, 2013

The Alcohol Diaries: Part 1

If you haven't heard the news (which is weird, because I've douchily been shouting it from the rooftops to martyr myself), I've given up alcohol for Lent. Here's how it's going so far.

Day 1: There's a half empty (half full?) bottle of Riesling leftover from my Grammy's party. I drank like 2 or 3 glasses during The Bachelor two days ago, all alone, but it wasn't enough to finish the bottle. I'm not sure what the fate of this half bottle will be, but it sure is taunting me from atop the fridge.

Day 2: It's Valentine's Day, so Chris and I are going out for a romantic dinner, if that's even possible when you've been together since 2007 and there's no wine involved. The meal was delicious, despite the fact that it included frog's legs that looked like THIS:

My food has it's own butt. Nevertheless, they were delicious and they didn't kill the romance.

I ordered a kiddy cocktail at the bar and felt kind of embarrassed. But I was surprised at how delicious it was.

First Official Insight: I realized that part of the reason I order alcohol at restaurants is to prove to the waitstaff and other restaurant-goers that I'm older than they think I am.

Day 3: We decide to have a low-key night in and watch Taken 2. I don't usually need alcohol to get through a movie, but Liam Neeson is so bad that it really would have helped.
 I wish this were me. Well, this is me. But I wish it were currently me.

Day 4: Some friends invite us over to play Settlers of Catan (I can't pretend to be too cool for it anymore). A glass of wine is poured for me without my knowledge because of course I'm drinking wine! When I politely decline, there's an awkward pause. Dare I say...a pregnant pause. "No, I'm not pregnant!" I assure them, and explain my Lenten piety. Despite being the only sober one playing, I still don't win the game.

Second Official Insight: Giving up alcohol as a married woman is different than giving it up as an engaged woman. Everyone will think you're pregnant and won't have any qualms about asking you if you are. So, on the record, I AM NOT PREGNANT.

Day 6: We go for trivia night at a bar with Chris's lab. I'm tempted to order a drink because I'm much more gregarious after a rum bucket or two, but since we're at an Irish pub and I don't drink beer, the temptation isn't too strong. I saved some money and calories, and I even got two questions for our team. Several members of the lab are appalled that someone would give up alcohol for Lent. I am brave and strong-willed, they say drunkenly. I know they were drunk because they have the same surprised reaction the next time it comes up.

Day 7: I watch The Bachelor again (a day late since we were at trivia) and I can't believe how much wine and champagne is consumed on this show. Is this always the case? Yes, but I usually don't notice. I want some.

I came to this Bachelor lookalike conclusion whilst sober.

Day 9: The half bottle of leftover wine becomes an ingredient in our dinner. I wonder if I'm technically allowed to eat it, but I do anyway. At least the bottle isn't taunting me anymore.

Day 11: My in-laws take us out to dinner and the restaurant has a small menu of mocktails. Score! I order a "No-jito" and my father-in-law issues the second pregnant pause of the season. "Are you...?" and I interrupt him. "NO! I gave up alcohol for Lent!"

Third Official Insight: I thought I loved fancy cocktails, but I really just love the idea of drinking something that requires a muddler and/or garnishes and/or a cocktail shaker. Even without alcohol, the No-jito hits the spot.

Coming up next: The Oscars aren't the same without wine and I almost order milk at a bar.

1 comment:

  1. ugh I didn't even consider the side effect of people thinking you're pregnant. How annoying!

    I'm impressed with your will-power. I'm not sure I could do it.


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