Monday, March 15, 2010

Be Still, My Heart

Remember how I have bad taste in movies? Well, I have bad taste in celebrity crushes too. Usually my celeb crushes show up quite often in bad movies, in fact. Coincidence? I have excellent taste in actual men, but when it comes to the rich and famous variety, you be the judge. Observe:

Nicolas Cage

He’s pointing at me. Because he has a crush on me too.

I fell in love with him in The Family Man when he sings to his wife on her birthday, and then his hot cop uniform in It Could Happen to You just sealed the deal. If he told me there was a treasure map on back of the Declaration of Independence, I would sure as heck help him steal it. I even shared with you a new blog wherein Nic’s face is photoshopped over other famous faces, basically the sexiest blog on the internet.

Dustin Hoffman

Why so serious? Because he’s seriously sexy.

Someone out there must agree with me on this one. I know Barbara does. When I saw him in The Graduate, he was still young and full of life; I imagined him saying “Ms. Tell, you’re trying to seduce me,” to which I would reply “Yes, Mr. Hoffman. Yes I am.” He was even hot in Meet the Fockers, for God's sake. Talk about a silver fox. Dustin Hoffman, like a fine wine, only gets better with age.

Alec Baldwin

You didn’t believe me, did you?

Lots of people may have rekindled their love affair with Alec Baldwin since 30 Rock revitalized his career, while others remember why they never liked him in the first place, especially after he called his daughter a “rude little pig.” But have you seen the man in Beetlejuice? Did you even recognize him? Now I know why Cher Horowitz calls hot guys “Baldwins.” Schwing!

Chevy Chase

I picked this one because he’s shirtless.

My family watches Christmas Vacation every single year, and we laugh at the same jokes every year, especially the part where the squirrel attacks. I used to just think Clark Griswold was a dorky dad type, but recently I realized that he’s actually kind of hot, especially when he goes nuts and chainsaws the evergreen tree in his front yard. If guys are allowed to have a thing for crazy chicks, then I’m allowed to crush on Clark Griswold. I mean, Chevy Chase. Unfortunately, he does not age like wine.

Apolo Ohno

This one’s shirtless too. Just how he should be.

I absolutely love his exotic multiracial good looks, and his bod’s not too shabby either, considering he’s, ya know, an Olympic athlete. I’m glad he wears those tight little outfits while he whips his contorted form around the ice. I’m surprised that ice manages to stay frozen given the hotness that glides across it. I know he has a soul patch (a quite terrible one, actually) but that’s why he’s on this list and not on a list of celebs who everyone has a crush on. If I were to get my paws on Apolo, I would just swoop in with an electric razor and shave the sucker off in his sleep. Problem: solved.

Do you guys crush on any weird celebs? Do you agree with any of mine?


  1. LOL! I can safely say I never crushed on Chevy Chase, hehee. I do agree though that Dustin was quite good looking in his day!

    Hmm... I know there is one, but I can't think of who he is at the moment. I'll let you know when I remember though, hehe!

  2. i had a crush on george w. bush. no kidding. i don't think your crushes are bad! i'm so jealous of you and your no zit problem - you are a lucky gal! even if you have to buy wrinkle cream! ; )

  3. Unfortunately the only celebrity crushes I have aren't weird. Like a million other women, I drool over George Clooney and Matthew McCaughne..(how the heck do you spell his last name?).

  4. I used to be IN LOVE with Apolo Ohno. I even went to Seattle once hoping to run into him. I feel ya.

  5. This post was hilarious. Who knew Alec Baldwin used to be cute?!

    x Emily

  6. Hi There! I am a couple days late but I wanted stop by from Marketing Mondays and let you know I am now a follower! Yay! Hope You get a chance to swing by mine sometime. Have a Great Day!

  7. Funnily enough, I blogged one of mine yesterday!
    Pop over to The Nippy Side if you have a spare mo....

    I have to admit Apolo looks way too young and my only other candidate would be Alec. But well done for 'bad taste' admittance! We should all try it!


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