Monday, February 1, 2010

Lyric Interp: Ke$ha

Everyone jokes about the fact that you can’t turn on the Top 40 radio station without hearing one of 5 songs they have in rotation. Okay, maybe that number is closer to, well, 40, but it seems like it’s only 5. When I was home over break, I listened to Kiss FM on my commute to and from work every day and here are the 5 songs they favored that month:

1. Imma Be by The Black Eyed Peas
2. Replay by Iyaz
3. Down by Jay Sean
4. Bad Romance by Lady Gaga
5. Tik Tok by Ke$ha

The bf and I were discussing (read: complaining about) this phenomenon on Saturday night, so when we got in the car, we made a wager: if “Tik Tok” was on the radio, I’d buy dessert.

It was, natch.

But…he is very nice so he bought dessert anyway! (Don’t I sound like a little jerk now?)

So anyway, this led to discussing (read: tearing apart) the lyrics of that song (read: piece of crap [okay I secretly like it]), we decided that there are several points of contention in that song. And, okay, I know this has been covered on blogs the world over by now, but I really wanted to weigh in because, after hearing this song infinity times, I have the lyrics memorized. So without further ado, here are the various gtfo moments of the alleged Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok”:

1. “Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy”—so, you’ve sprouted a meat and two veg overnight? You realize you tweeted during the nast last night? How could you possibly know what it feels like to be P. Diddy, and more importantly, why is that something to brag about?

Yeah, Dat's right.

2. “Before I leave brush my teef with a bottle of Jack”—I’m not even going to comment on how asinine this is. But may I just direct your attention to the Google results for “bottle of Jack?” three out of the first ten are for this song, including the number one result. One of the related searches at the bottom is “brush my teeth bottle jack.” Also does she use the actual bottle, or just the liquid inside, and if so, does she use the whole bottle, or does she just swill a little bit around until she can get home and do the job right with a tube of PrepH?

Oral hygiene of champions.

3. “We kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger”—Ha! Now we all know you don’t write your own music, Ke$ha! If you did, you would have noticed that Mic Jagger is, oh, just about the ugliest man on the planet (as usual, assuming Carrot Top, Flavor Flav, Gary Busey, and Ron Jeremy have died [side note: why are the world’s ugliest men so successful on VH1?]).

You are a sexy bitch.

4. “I'm talking about everybody getting crunk, crunk/Boys tryin' to touch my junk, junk/Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk”—This one’s a two-for. First, why is it okay for boys to touch her “junk” but they are smacked if they drink too much? Those are some crazy mixed signals, grrl. And while we’re on the subject, what “junk” are you talking about? Your new P. Diddy-esque junk? Second, why is it okay for everyone to get crunk, while getting drunk is intolerable?
Or...could you be crunk?
5. The rest of the song is meaningless crap like “You got me now/You got that sound/Yeah you got me” and “With my hands up/Put your hands up/Put your hands up.” Come on Ke$ha—I can hardly make fun of your lyrics when they literally mean nothing.

Okay, now your hands! Come on, get em up there!

6. Her name has a dollar sign in it. Stupid.
She obvi didn’t have time to wash her hair with a bottle of Jack.


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